The wisest person I ever met in my life, a third-grade dropout. Wisest and dropout in the same sentence is rather oxymoronic, like jumbo shrimp. Like Fun Run, ain't nothing fun about it, like Microsoft Works. You all don't hear me. I used to say like country music, but I've lived in Texas so long, I love country music now. I hunt. I fish. I have cowboy boots and cowboy ... You all, I'm a blackneck redneck. Do you hear what I'm saying to you? No longer oxymoronic for me to say country music, and it's not oxymoronic for me to say third grade and dropout.
That third grade dropout, the wisest person I ever met in my life, who taught me to combine knowledge and wisdom to make an impact, was my father, a simple cook, wisest man I ever met in my life, just a simple cook, left school in the third grade to help out on the family farm, but just because he left school doesn't mean his education stopped. Mark Twain once said, "I've never allowed my schooling to get in the way of my education." My father taught himself how to read, taught himself how to write, decided in the midst of Jim Crowism, as America was breathing the last gasp of the Civil War, my father decided he was going to stand and be a man, not a black man, not a brown man, not a white man, but a man. He literally challenged himself to be the best that he could all the days of his life.
I have four degrees. My brother is a judge. We're not the smartest ones in our family. It's a third grade dropout daddy, a third grade dropout daddy who was quoting Michelangelo, saying to us boys, "I won't have a problem if you aim high and miss, but I'm gonna have a real issue if you aim low and hit." A country mother quoting Henry Ford, saying, "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right." I learned that from a third grade drop. Simple lessons, lessons like these. "Son, you'd rather be an hour early than a minute late." We never knew what time it was at my house because the clocks were always ahead. My mother said, for nearly 30 years, my father left the house at 3:45 in the morning, one day, she asked him, "Why, Daddy?" He said, "Maybe one of my boys will catch me in the act of excellence."
I want to share a few things with you. Aristotle said, "You are what you repeatedly do." Therefore, excellence ought to be a habit, not an act. Don't ever forget that. I know you're tough. I know you're seaworthy, but always remember to be kind, always. Don't ever forget that. Never embarrass Mama. Mm-hmm (affirmative). If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. If Daddy ain't happy, don't nobody care, but I'm going to tell you.
Next lesson, lesson from a cook over there in the galley. "Son, make sure your servant's towel is bigger than your ego." I want to remind you cadets of something as you graduate. Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. You all might have a relative in mind you want to send that to. Let me say it again. Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. Pride is the burden of a foolish person.
John Wooden coached basketball at UCLA for a living, but his calling was to impact people, and with all those national championships, guess what he was found doing in the middle of the week? Going into the cupboard, grabbing a broom and sweeping his own gym floor. You want to make an impact? Find your broom. Every day of your life, you find your broom. You grow your influence that way. That way, you're attracting people so that you can impact them.
Final lesson. "Son, if you're going to do a job, do it right." I've always been told how average I can be, always been criticized about being average, but I want to tell you something. I stand here before you before all of these people, not listening to those words, but telling myself every single day to shoot for the stars, to be the best that I can be. Good enough isn't good enough if it can be better, and better isn't good enough if it can be best.
Let me close with a very personal story that I think will bring all this into focus. Wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest of sources, a lot of times through failure. When you hit rock bottom, remember this. While you're struggling, rock bottom can also be a great foundation on which to build and on which to grow. I'm not worried that you'll be successful. I'm worried that you won't fail from time to time. The person that gets up off the canvas and keeps growing, that's the person that will continue to grow their influence.
Back in the '70s, to help me make this point, let me introduce you to someone. I met the finest woman I'd ever met in my life. Mm-hmm (affirmative). Back in my day, we'd have called her a brick house. This woman was the finest woman I'd ever seen in my life. There was just one little problem. Back then, ladies didn't like big old linemen. The Blind Side hadn't come out yet. They liked quarterbacks and running back. We're at this dance, and I find out her name is Trina Williams from Lompoc, California. We're all dancing and we're just excited. I decide in the middle of dancing with her that I would ask her for her phone number. Trina was the first ... Trina was the only woman in college who gave me her real telephone number.
The next day, we walked to Baskin and Robbins Ice Cream Parlor. My friends couldn't believe it. This has been 40 years ago, and my friends still can't believe it. We go on a second date and a third date and a fourth date. Mm-hmm (affirmative). We drive from Chico to Vallejo so that she can meet my parents. My father meets her. My daddy. My hero. He meets her, pulls me to the side and says, "Is she psycho?" Anyway, we go together for a year, two years, three years, four years. By now, Trina's a senior in college. I'm still a freshman, but I'm working some things out. I'm so glad I graduated in four terms, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan.
Now, it's time to propose, so I talk to her girlfriends, and it's California. It's in the '70s, so it has to be outside, have to have a candle and you have to some chocolate. Listen, I'm from the hood. I had a bottle of Boone's Farm wine. That's what I had. She said, "Yes." That was the key. I married the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my ... You all ever been to a wedding and even before the wedding starts, you hear this? "How in the world?" It was coming from my side of the family. We get married. We have a few children. Our lives are great.
One day, Trina finds a lump in her left breast. Breast cancer. Six years after that diagnosis, me and my two little boys walked up to Mommy's casket and, for two years, my heart didn't beat. If it wasn't for my faith in God, I wouldn't be standing here today. If it wasn't for those two little boys, there would have been no reason for which to go on. I was completely lost. That was rock bottom. You know what sustained me? The wisdom of a third grade dropout, the wisdom of a simple cook.
We're at the casket. I'd never seen my dad cry, but this time I saw my dad cry. That was his daughter. Trina was his daughter, not his daughter-in-law, and I'm right behind my father about to see her for the last time on this Earth, and my father shared three words with me that changed my life right there at the casket. It would be the last lesson he would ever teach me. He said, "Son, just stand. You keep standing. You keep stand ... No matter how rough the sea, you keep standing, and I'm not talking about just water. You keep standing. No matter what. You don't give up." I learned that lesson from a third grade dropout, and as clearly as I'm talking to you today, these were some of her last words to me. She looked me in the eye and she said, "It doesn't matter to me any longer how long I live. What matters to me most is how I live."
I ask you all one question, a question that I was asked all my life by a third grade dropout. How you living? How you living? Every day, ask yourself that question. How you living? Here's what a cook would suggest you to live, this way, that you would not judge, that you would show up early, that you'd be kind, that you make sure that that servant's towel is huge and used, that if you're going to do something, you do it the right way. That cook would tell you this, that it's never wrong to do the right thing, that how you do anything is how you do everything, and in that way, you will grow your influence to make an impact. In that way, you will honor all those who have gone before you who have invested in you. Look in those unlikeliest places for wisdom. Enhance your life every day by seeking that wisdom and asking yourself every night, "How am I living?" May God richly bless you all. Thank you for having me here.
里克·里格斯比的演讲——三年级辍学生的教训
我一生中遇到的最聪明的人，一个三年级辍学生。最聪明和辍学生放在同一句话里，就像大虾一样自相矛盾。就像 Fun Run，一点也不好玩，就像 Microsoft Works。你们都没听见我的话。我以前常说喜欢乡村音乐，但我在德克萨斯住了很久，现在我喜欢乡村音乐。我打猎。我钓鱼。我有牛仔靴和牛仔……你们，我是一个黑脖子乡巴佬。你们听到我对你们说的话了吗？对我来说，说乡村音乐不再是矛盾的，对我来说，说三年级和辍学也不是矛盾的。
那个三年级辍学生，我一生中遇到的最聪明的人，他教我结合知识和智慧来产生影响，他是我的父亲，一个简单的厨师，我一生中遇到的最聪明的人，只是一个简单的厨师，三年级时辍学去家庭农场帮忙，但他辍学并不意味着他的教育停止了。 马克·吐温曾经说过：“我从不让学校教育妨碍我的教育。”我的父亲自学了阅读、写作，在种族隔离主义盛行期间，当美国正处于内战的最后一搏时，我的父亲决定要站起来做一个男人，不是黑人，不是棕色人，不是白人，而是一个男人。他一生都在挑战自己，尽其所能做到最好。
我有四个学位。我哥哥是法官。我们不是家里最聪明的人。一个三年级辍学的父亲，一个三年级辍学的父亲引用米开朗基罗的话对我们男孩说：“如果你把目标定得很高却没有达到目标，我不会介意，但如果你把目标定得很低却成功了，我就会很生气。”一个乡村母亲引用亨利·福特的话说：“如果你认为你能做到，或者如果你认为你不能，那你都是对的。”我从三年级辍学中学到了这一点。简单的教训，像这样的教训。 “儿子，你宁愿早到一小时，也不愿迟到一分钟。”我们从来不知道我家现在几点，因为时钟总是快到。我妈妈说，近 30 年来，我父亲都是早上 3:45 离开家，有一天，她问他：“为什么，爸爸？”他说：“也许我的一个儿子会发现我表现得如此出色。”
我想和你们分享几件事。亚里士多德说：“你就是你所重复做的事情。”因此，卓越应该是一种习惯，而不是一种行为。永远不要忘记这一点。我知道你很坚强。我知道你适合航海，但永远要记住要善良，永远。永远不要忘记这一点。永远不要让妈妈难堪。嗯（肯定）。如果妈妈不开心，没人会开心。如果爸爸不开心，没人会在乎，但我要告诉你。
下一课，来自厨房那边厨师的课程。 “儿子，确保你的仆人的毛巾比你的自负更大。”我想在你们毕业之际提醒你们学员们一件事。自负是麻醉剂，可以减轻愚蠢的痛苦。你们可能都想把这个寄给一个亲戚。让我再说一遍。自负是麻醉剂，可以减轻愚蠢的痛苦。骄傲是愚蠢的人的负担。
约翰·伍登在加州大学洛杉矶分校执教篮球，但他的使命是影响人们，在获得所有这些全国冠军之后，猜猜他在周中做什么？走进橱柜，拿起扫帚，清扫自己的健身房地板。你想产生影响吗？找到你的扫帚。你生命中的每一天，你都会找到你的扫帚。你以这种方式扩大你的影响力。这样，你就会吸引人们，从而影响他们。
最后一课。“儿子，如果你要做一份工作，那就做好。” 我总是被告知我是多么的平庸，总是因为平庸而被批评，但我想告诉你一些事情。我站在你们面前，面对着所有这些人，不是在听那些话，而是每天都告诉自己要努力成为最好的自己。如果可以更好，那么足够好就不够好；如果可以最好，那么更好就不够好。
最后，让我用一个非常个人化的故事来结束我的演讲，我认为这个故事会把所有这些问题都集中到一起。智慧会从最意想不到的地方来到你身边，很多时候是通过失败。当你跌入谷底时，请记住这一点。当你在挣扎时，谷底也可以成为你建立和成长的良好基础。我并不担心你会成功。我担心你不会时不时地失败。从画布上站起来并不断成长的人，才是会继续扩大影响力的人。
回到 70 年代，为了帮助我说明这一点，让我向你介绍一个人。我遇到了我一生中遇到的最优秀的女人。嗯（肯定）。在我那个年代，我们会称她为砖房。这个女人是我一生中见过的最优秀的女人。只有一个小问题。那时，女士们不喜欢身材高大的老前锋。《弱点》还没有上映。她们喜欢四分卫和跑卫。 我们在舞会上，我发现她叫 Trina Williams，来自加利福尼亚州洛姆波克。我们都在跳舞，而且都很兴奋。在和她跳舞的过程中，我决定问她要电话号码。Trina 是第一个……Trina 是大学里唯一一个给我真实电话号码的女性。
第二天，我们走到 Baskin and Robbins 冰淇淋店。我的朋友们都不敢相信。这已经是 40 年前的事了，我的朋友们仍然不敢相信。我们进行了第二次约会、第三次约会和第四次约会。嗯（肯定）。我们从奇科开车到瓦列霍，这样她就可以见我的父母了。我父亲见了她。我的爸爸。我的英雄。他见到她后，把我拉到一边说：“她是神经病吗？”无论如何，我们在一起一年、两年、三年、四年了。现在，Trina 是大学四年级学生。我还是个新生，但我正在解决一些问题。 我很高兴自己只用了四个学期就毕业了，尼克松、福特、卡特、里根。
现在，求婚的时候到了，所以我和她的女朋友们聊了聊，那是在加利福尼亚。当时是 70 年代，所以必须在户外，必须点蜡烛，还得吃点巧克力。听着，我来自贫民区。我喝了一瓶布恩农场的葡萄酒。我喝的就是这个。她说：“我愿意。”那是关键。我娶了一生中见过的最美丽的女人……你们都参加过婚礼吗？甚至在婚礼开始前，你们听到过这句话吗？“这到底是怎么回事？”（笑声）这是我家那边的人说的。我们结婚了。我们有几个孩子。我们的生活很美好。
有一天，特丽娜发现她的左乳房有肿块。乳腺癌。诊断结果出来六年后，我和我的两个小男孩走到妈妈的棺材前，两年来，我的心脏都没有跳动。 如果不是因为我对上帝的信仰，我今天就不会站在这里。如果不是因为那两个小男孩，我也没有理由继续走下去。我完全迷失了。那是人生的低谷。你知道是什么支撑着我吗？一个三年级辍学生的智慧，一个普通厨师的智慧。
我们在棺材旁。我从未见过父亲哭泣，但这次我看到父亲哭泣。那是他的女儿。特丽娜是他的女儿，不是儿媳，我紧跟在父亲身后，即将在地球上最后一次见到她，父亲在棺材旁对我说了三个词，这三个词改变了我的一生。这将是他教给我的最后一课。他说：“儿子，站起来。你继续站着。你继续站着……无论海浪多么汹涌，你都要继续站着，我说的不只是水。你继续站着。不管怎样。你不要放弃。” 我从一位三年级辍学生那里学到了这一课，今天我和你们谈话时，显然，这是她对我说的最后一句话。她看着我的眼睛说：“我活多久已经不再重要了。对我来说，最重要的是我如何生活。”
我问你们一个问题，这个问题也是我一生中被一位三年级辍学生问过的问题。你过得怎么样？你过得怎么样？每天问自己这个问题。你过得怎么样？一位厨师会建议你这样生活：你不会评判别人，你会早点到，你会善良，你会确保仆人的毛巾是大号的而且是二手的，如果你要做某件事，你会以正确的方式去做。那位厨师会告诉你，做正确的事永远不会错，你做任何事情的方式就是你做所有事情的方式，这样，你的影响力就会扩大，产生影响。这样，你就会尊重所有在你之前投资你的人。 在那些最不可能的地方寻找智慧。通过寻求智慧并每晚问自己“我过得怎么样？”来改善你每天的生活。愿上帝保佑你们所有人。感谢你们邀请我来这里。
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