The Secret to Happiness Is 幸福的秘诀是

Life Exercise

The Secret to Happiness Is Helping Others

There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” For centuries, the greatest thinkers have suggested the same thing: Happiness is found in helping others. 

Why Chasing Happiness Might Be Making You Miserable

For it is in giving that we receive — Saint Francis of Assisi

The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity — Leo Tolstoy

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give — Winston Churchill

Making money is a happiness; making other people happy is a superhappiness — Nobel Peace Prize receipient Muhammad Yunus

Giving back is as good for you as it is for those you are helping, because giving gives you purpose. When you have a purpose-driven life, you’re a happier person — Goldie Hawn

And so we learn early: It is better to give than to receive. The venerable aphorism is drummed into our heads from our first slice of a shared birthday cake. But is there a deeper truth behind the truism?

The resounding answer is yes. Scientific research provides compelling data to support the anecdotal evidence that giving is a powerful pathway to personal growth and lasting happiness. Through fMRI technology, we now know that giving activates the same parts of the brain that are stimulated by food and sex. Experiments show evidence that altruism is hardwired in the brain—and it's pleasurable. Helping others may just be the secret to living a life that is not only happier but also healthier, wealthier, more productive, and meaningful.

But it’s important to remember that giving doesn’t always feel great. The opposite could very well be true: Giving can make us feel depleted and taken advantage of. Here are some tips to that will help you give not until it hurts, but until it feels great:

1. Find your passion

Our passion should be the foundation for our giving. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving. It’s only natural that we will care about this and not so much about that, and that’s OK. It should not be simply a matter of choosing the right thing, but also a matter of choosing what is right for us.

2. Give your time

The gift of time is often more valuable to the receiver and more satisfying for the giver than the gift of money. We don’t all have the same amount of money, but we all do have time on our hands, and can give some of this time to help others—whether that means we devote our lifetimes to service, or just give a few hours each day or a few days a year.

3. Give to organizations with transparent aims and results

According to Harvard scientist Michael Norton, “Giving to a cause that specifies what they’re going to do with your money leads to more happiness than giving to an umbrella cause where you’re not so sure where your money is going.”

4. Find ways to integrate your interests and skills with the needs of others

“Selfless giving, in the absence of self-preservation instincts, easily becomes overwhelming,” says Adam Grant, author of Give & Take. It is important to be “otherish,” which he defines as being willing to give more than you receive, but still keeping your own interests in sight.

5. Be proactive, not reactive

We have all felt the dread that comes from being cajoled into giving, such as when friends ask us to donate to their fundraisers. In these cases, we are more likely to give to avoid humiliation rather than out of generosity and concern. This type of giving doesn’t lead to a warm glow feeling; more likely it will lead to resentment. Instead we should set aside time, think about our options, and find the best charity for our values.

6. Don’t be guilt-tripped into giving

I don’t want to discourage people from giving to good causes just because that doesn’t always cheer us up. If we gave only to get something back each time we gave, what a dreadful, opportunistic world this would be! Yet if we are feeling guilt-tripped into giving, chances are we will not be very committed over time to the cause.

The key is to find the approach that fits us. When we do, then the more we give, the more we stand to gain purpose, meaning and happiness—all of the things that we look for in life but are so hard to find.

生活锻炼

 幸福的秘诀是帮助别人

 中国有句俗话：“要想幸福一小时，就打瞌睡。” 如果你想快乐一天，就去钓鱼吧。 如果你想幸福一年，就继承一笔财富。 如果你想要一生幸福，那就帮助别人。” 几个世纪以来，最伟大的思想家都提出了同样的观点：幸福在于帮助他人。

 为什么追逐幸福可能会让你痛苦

 因为只有在给予中我们才能得到——阿西西的圣方济各

 生命的唯一意义就是为人类服务——列夫·托尔斯泰

 我们靠所得谋生； 我们通过奉献创造生活——温斯顿·丘吉尔

 赚钱是一种幸福； 让别人幸福是一种超级幸福——诺贝尔和平奖获得者穆罕默德·尤努斯

 回馈对你和你所帮助的人来说都是有好处的，因为给予给了你目标。 当你的生活有目标时，你就会变得更快乐——Goldie Hawn

 所以我们很早就知道：给予比接受更好。 当我们分享第一块生日蛋糕时，这句古老的格言就被灌输到我们的脑海里。 但这句老话背后是否有更深层次的真相呢？

 响亮的答案是肯定的。 科学研究提供了令人信服的数据来支持轶事证据，即捐赠是实现个人成长和持久幸福的强大途径。 通过功能磁共振成像技术，我们现在知道，给予会激活大脑中与食物和性刺激相同的部分。 实验表明，利他主义在大脑中根深蒂固，而且令人愉悦。 帮助他人可能是让生活不仅更快乐，而且更健康、更富有、更富有成效、更有意义的秘诀。

 但重要的是要记住，给予并不总是让人感觉很好。 事实很可能恰恰相反：给予会让我们感到精疲力竭和被利用。 这里有一些技巧可以帮助您付出，不要等到感到痛苦，而是要感觉很棒：

 1.找到你的热情

 我们的热情应该是我们奉献的基础。 重要的不是我们付出了多少，而是我们在付出中投入了多少爱。 我们很自然地会关心这个而不是关心那个，这没关系。 这不应该是简单地选择正确的事情，而是选择适合我们的事情。

 2. 花点时间

 时间的礼物往往比金钱的礼物对接受者来说更有价值，对给予者来说更令人满意。 我们并不都有同样多的钱，但我们都有时间，并且可以拿出一些时间来帮助别人——无论这意味着我们将一生奉献给服务，还是只是每个人贡献几个小时 一年中的一天或几天。

 3. 捐赠给目标和结果透明的组织

 哈佛大学科学家迈克尔·诺顿表示，“为一项明确他们将如何使用你的钱的事业捐款，比为一个你不太确定你的钱花在哪里的总体事业捐款更能带来幸福。”

 4.找到将你的兴趣和技能与他人的需求结合起来的方法

 “如果缺乏自我保护的本能，无私的奉献很容易变得难以承受，”《给予与索取》一书的作者亚当·格兰特说。 “利己主义”很重要，他将其定义为愿意付出多于所得到的，但仍然关注自己的利益。

 5. 积极主动，而非被动反应

 我们都曾因被哄骗而感到恐惧，比如当朋友要求我们向他们的筹款活动捐款时。 在这些情况下，我们更有可能为了避免羞辱而给予，而不是出于慷慨和关心。 这种类型的给予不会带来温暖的感觉；而是会带来温暖的感觉。 更有可能会引起怨恨。 相反，我们应该留出时间，思考我们的选择，并为我们的价值观找到最好的慈善机构。

 6.不要因为给予而感到内疚

 我不想阻止人们为公益事业捐款，因为这并不总是能让我们高兴起来。 如果我们每次付出只是为了得到一些回报，那么这将是一个多么可怕的机会主义世界！ 然而，如果我们在捐赠时感到内疚，那么随着时间的推移，我们很可能不会对这项事业做出承诺。

 关键是要找到适合我们的方法。 当我们这样做时，我们付出的越多，我们就越能获得目标、意义和幸福——所有这些都是我们在生活中寻找但却很难找到的东西。