With Honors
Synopsis:Monty is a student, and when his computer crashes, he's left with only a single paper copy of his thesis. Frightened of losing it, he immediately rushes out to photocopy it, only to stumble and drop it down a grate. Searching the basement of the building, he discovers that it has been found by Simon, a squatter. Simon makes a deal with Monty: for every day's accomodation and food that Monty gives him, he will give a page of the thesis in return.
Actors: Joe Pesci, Brendan Fraser, Moira Kelly, Patrick Dempsey
PG-13 Year: 1994 101 min
1
It's 7.:00 a.m., children, and you're listening
to Radio-Free Harvard...
...on a chilly November morning.
You're at the greatest university on Earth,
and you know what?
You're in over your head. You're drowning.
Especially you seniors.
Only 150 days before your thesis is due
and the powers that be decide...
...whether you're destined
for greatness or mediocrity.
I know what you're thinking.
Do I really belong here?
Probably not. But don't give in.
Don't give up.
Arise, fair Harvard.
Arise.
You too can rule the world.
You just have to crush everyone else first.
A little crushing music, Maestro.
All right guys, let's go!
You can do it. Keep going!
Keep up the pace! Nice and neat!
Ignore him!
Move it! Let's go!
Very funny, Monty!
Now, here's something to crow about.
I've got a great cock, don't I?
You see, last night,
a Radcliffe sophomore saw a ghost...
...looking remarkably like Walt Whitman
in Widener Library.
America's greatest poet
haunting the stacks, eh.
The Cliffie is undergoing intense debriefing
by the English department.
They better hurry.
Weather tells us that 10 inches of
the white shroud is scheduled for tonight.
I'm Everett Calloway.
Now you hear me. Now you....
Your father called
and wants you to call him back.
What's up with Father?
Marrying my sister, perhaps.
He mumbled something
about your being overdrawn...
again!
I thought he was a patriot.
Doesn't he believe in deficit spending.
Lord Montague!
You're looking very grim and formal
this morning.
You trying to pass for a Yalie?
I've got a meeting with Pitkannan.
Oh, no. Not about the thesis!
- Feeling confident?
- Feeling nauseous.
This one here.
Oh, God.
I know her. I've been with her.
First paragraph, Mr. Kessler.
Let's hear it.
''Chapter 1.''
From memory.
Yes, sir!
I don't know whether that denotes
hard work, or...
...unseemly vanity.
Stand up!
Stand up?
I like a substantial target.
''Chapter 1.
''The Bottomless Well of Need.
''The noble and ambitious assumption
of the government of the United States...
''...is that the needs of a diverse population
can be fulfilled.
''The dream of a melting pot has become
a cauldron of inflexible minorities...
''...and the hopelessly unemployable.
''The solution is to leave the complexities
of modern government...
''...to the political expert.
''And to rethink our naive faith
in the wisdom of the people.''
A good beginning.
Leave your chapter.
And if the rest of your thesis is
as intelligent as you are...
...you are certain to graduate
summa cum laude...
...and that will be the beginning...
...of a brilliant career.
Thank you, Professor Pitkannan.
Do you think Helga is
a voluptuous Saint-Emilion...
...or a buttery Chardonnay?
You mean, Helga with the coils.
Works over at Kinko Copy?
That's her. What do you think.
What do I think?
Bud Light.
That's not funny.
I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't
demoralize my crew.
Face it, you're just not a leader of men.
- Very funny.
- Then be a model.
- How'd it go?
- How'd what go.
The big meeting
with the god of your idolatry.
With Pitkannan?
It went great.
Rah.
Can't you stay?
The best never rest.
- I hate him.
- He is a tad compulsive.
He has to be.
Harvard's not his inheritance.
It's true.
Harvard doesn't have any standards left.
They let in anyone who's bright.
I'm worried about him.
Poor guy's the pet of a Nobel Laureate.
Pitkannan spends more time
on Nightline than in lecture.
He's a celebrity, not an intellectual.
He'll still get Monty into graduate school
and set him up for life.
For life.
Sounds like a death sentence.
What the hell was that?
Your hard drive is fried.
I got ten chapters printed.
You've done ten chapters already?
I'm going to get Xeroxes.
- Wait until morning.
- It's my only copy.
Are you afraid someone will steal it?
I can't take any chances. This is my life.
I know you worked really hard,
but it's not your life, Monty.
- I'm going with him!
- Good!
Monty, wait up!
I didn't ask you to tag along.
You're welcome, you bastard!
Face it, Courtney,
you can't keep up with me.
Monty, are you okay?
What're you doing?
God. It's down there.
In the boiler room?
I got to get into Widener.
Widener is closed. Wait till the morning.
I can't wait till morning!
You're hurt.
Would you like my help getting in?
Since you asked so nicely....
Come on.
- Through the front door?
- Yes, through the front. I know the guard.
Hi, Chuck.
Courtney. It's kind of late. You okay?
Yeah. I was here earlier
and I think I misplaced my wallet.
I was wondering if anyone turned it in?
I don't remember
anybody bringing in a wallet but...
...let me take a look.
I found a hat here and...
...a scarf...
...and a banana.
What color was that wallet?
It was green. Alligator green.
Alligator green. That's kind of spiffy.
Don't!
Calm down!
It's mine!
That's all I want. It's important.
It belongs to me.
Finders keepers, losers weepers.
Don't you knock before coming
into someone's home?
- It's not worth anything.
- Why do you want it then?
How much?
- How much?
- Yeah, how much?
- Got a check.
- Is it a certified check.
How about a six-month CD?
You got one of those.
I need something I can chew.
Okay. You want food?
I'll bring you some. Then you give me that.
What size underpants you wear?
Excuse me?
I could use a new pair of underpants.
I'll bring you underpants.
Just don't burn any more pages.
I'll bring you underpants
and you'll give me my thesis.
Your thesis?
Is that what this piece of sh*t's
supposed to be?
- What's it supposed to be on, Harvard?
- Government.
Government.
I didn't recognize you! You're Dan Quayle!
You came back to finish your education.
Okay, Harvard. You study government,
so this should be easy.
You want something, I need something.
Go get me a glazed doughnut.
A glazed doughnut?
Make sure the glaze is not all broke.
And your underpants?
What about my underpants?
Clean underpants too! That's right!
- Great. Glazed doughnut--
- Pristine, glazed doughnut.
Pristine, glazed doughnut
and underpants. Okay?
What do I get?
Well, for each thing you get,
I'll give you one page.
- A chapter?
- No.
A page is a thing!
A chapter is a whole lot of things.
There are 88 pages in that thesis.
There are 83 pages now.
Looks I like I found a way to live
through the winter, Harvard.
I hope you got it. I just went through
two years of Lost and Found.
You didn't get it.
All right, all right.
Let's get you to the infirmary.
Perfect.
Glaze is almost perfect.
There's no point.
- Who are you calling?
- University cops.
No, let's negotiate.
How much cash do we have?
He can't eat money.
Doesn't money buy food?
Helga, you're brilliant!
I love you.
He's probably schizophrenic.
Most homeless are schizophrenics.
I have $50.
I can't pay you back soon.
I'll call my esteemed father.
If I can convince him
the money's not for me, maybe I...
You don't understand.
This guy could be using my thesis
for toilet paper, or eating it.
He has no respect for himself,
much less for what I'm struggling to do.
He liked tormenting me.
You should've seen the look on his face.
He wants me to fail.
Pitkannan advised Rapp's thesis last year.
He dropped him because
he didn't have a rough draft.
Oh, God!
You need rest. We'll get a fresh doughnut
in the morning.
I won't wait on this--
He doesn't know you.
I'm sure he doesn't want you to fail.
Just reason with him.
Just deal with him like a human being.
I know he's a human being. I smelled him.
He's a worthless, stinky, filthy,
useless human being.
Hello, Security?
Watch your step.
You bunch of scavengers!
Thanks for the doughnut, you little stoolie!
Come on.
Hey, Monty, is that him?
He's a little old man.
Officer, it isn't here! Now, where is it?
It's not down there and it's not on him.
You have violated
Cambridge city ordinances...
...and are charged with public intoxication
and/or vagrancy...
...and/or panhandling. If you plead guilty...
...please sit down.
If you plead not guilty, take a step forward.
Name?
Simon B. Wilder, Judge.
As a taxpayer, I'd like to request
a trial by jury.
And when was the last time
you paid taxes?
Three times this last week.
- You paid taxes three times?
- Yes, sir.
There's a federal, state
and county tax on wine.
Mr. Wilder...
...the court concedes
you have paid various taxes...
...nevertheless a jury trial is not called for.
Charges of public drunkenness,
trespassing and vagrancy stand.
- How do you plead?
- Not guilty.
You were found living in a furnace room
under Harvard's Widener Library.
With all due respect, sir,
Harvard University is a land-grant school.
Constitutionally,
I was living on public grounds.
I'll drop the trespassing charge...
...but you tested as being drunk
at the time of your arrest.
At the time of my arrest,
I was neither driving an automobile...
...or operating heavy farm equipment.
I was sitting alone, reading.
I'm well past drinking age.
If I take a little drink to kill the winter chill,
it's certainly not a crime.
If it were, every fan at a Harvard-Yale
football game would be behind bars. Come on!
Be careful, Mr. Wilder.
You're coming dangerously close
to contempt of court.
I'll drop the charges of public intoxication.
Thank you. You're a gentleman
and a scholar.
I knew once we got to know each other,
we'd hit it off.
When I heard that phony accent,
I thought he'd be an a**hole.
It goes to show--
That's it Mr. Wilder!
I'm holding you in contempt.
Fifty dollars or 50 days!
You'll hear from Alan Dershowitz.
See how you do with him!
Your Honor...
...may I pay the fine?
Are you related to Mr. Wilder?
I'm a Harvard student.
I'm writing my senior thesis and
...I need Mr. Wilder's help.
Bailiff, this young man will pay the fine...
...provided he gets Mr. Wilder
out of my sight!
Next case, please.
Don't ask him for a glazed doughnut.
Excuse me, Miss.
Can I borrow your quarter?
I'd like to get the morning paper.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You know what the greatest nation
in the world is? Dont you?
I hope it's the U.S.A.
Wrong!
It's do-nation.
There you go.
That's for being so generous.
Would you like a couple more for your friends?
No, one's fine. Thanks.
Thank you. Bye, sweetheart.
Mr. Wilder, I have a business proposition.
Buy the Boston Herald over here.
Only 25 cents.
Get your paper over here!
Only 25 cents!
Read all about it!
Clarence Thomas wins appointment!
Moves in on top of hill.
- I'll take one.
- There you go, Miss.
- Let me check that out.
- Twenty-five cents.
- Solid.
- It's on Page 5.
I bailed you out.
I think that entitles me to a conversation.
Read all about it!
Harvard student dies in freak accident!
Crushed by giant ego!
I'll take the rest. Here's $5.
What do you see when you look at me?
What do you see?
A man.
No, you see a piece of sh*t.
I see a man who needs a home.
I had a home.
I had a warm place to sleep.
Seventeen bathrooms
and eight miles of books.
I had a goddamn palace.
Do you know why I need a home?
'Cause of you.
'Cause when you looked at me,
you didn't see a man.
Well?
What's that?
A house.
I prefer that.
It's full.
It's the best I can do.
My roommate, Boz, cracked up
two months ago and quit school.
This is his stuff!
Where is he now?
Bali!
Bali? I've been there. Merchant Marines.
Swab the decks and see the world.
Just don't breathe in the engine room.
Well, all this comfort can be yours
for just one senior thesis.
For each night's lodging...
...one page.
Mr. Wilder, I don't think you understand.
This is nine months of my work.
I need all the pages now.
Just give me everything
and you can stay until spring.
I give you my word.
Your word, Harvard. Surely ye jest.
Did you forget about our original deal?
One thing for one thing.
Get a little creative,
you'll have me out of here in no time at all.
By the way...
...I'll need something decent to read.
I'll get anything you want from the library.
I was reading Germinal by Zola
until I was so rudely interrupted.
You'll have it by tomorrow.
Boy, oh, boy.
- Where are you going?
- I got to get dinner.
My roommates are cooking dinner.
I'll get you some.
Wait a minute. What are they having?
What are they having?
Hello, Speedy.
How was your day?
That good.
- Check that for you.
- Mr. One-Crutch Man.
- The doctor told you to use both crutches?
- I only need one.
Don't tell me you're even afraid
to depend on inanimate objects.
Anyone mind if I have seconds.
I'll kick in extra for groceries.
You still owe for last week.
I'm good for it, Jeff.
Can you get the door, please?
You dining on the terrace this evening?
This meet your standards?
When do I get my page?
Tomorrow.
If you eat now, I get my page now.
If you had an insurance policy,
would you carry it around?
You're being very unreasonable.
How do I know you didn't burn it?
Do you think I'm an idiot?
No, Harvard.
I think you're a loser.
Fine!
Tomorrow then. 'Bye.
What if my parents pull
one of their surprise visits?
My mom would have a heart attack.
I mean....
Wouldn't it have been more considerate
if you had asked Jeff's mother first?
Don't lecture me about consideration.
You keep a rooster in the house.
My cock is a lot cleaner than your bum.
You're comparing c*cks and bums.
Is this inside macho talk.
The rooster happens to be
the centerpiece of my radio show.
The bum is the centerpiece of my life.
The bum is my summa cum laude.
Does anyone have a razor?
My legs are turning into Christmas trees.
Come on, we're all guys here.
What's the occasion?
I got a date. Promised Jonathan
I'd make up with him again.
Jonathan? The Face.
He's not just a pretty face,
he's also a great body.
Can we just not talk about sex right now?
You forgot to take your girlfriend home
this morning...
...so I took the air out
and put her in the closet.
Take my blade.
Remember, if you tire of The Face...
...Helga's got a brother.
How's the view?
This won't work.
Look, I've been working on this
since junior year.
I'm not going to just start again
because a bum is holding it hostage.
He'll get it tonight and I'll talk him
into giving me the whole thing.
Yeah, you've done a great job so far.
- I thought you said he wants a home.
- Look, I'll handle it.
Okay? Okay, Jeff?
I'll have him out in a couple of days.
Just cut me some slack.
Keep an eye on him.
Go get her, Monty. Go get her.
We should call your mother.
He'll freeze in that wreck.
I got extra blankets. Go give them to him.
- I don't want him to be too comfortable.
- He could die.
No such luck.
You're not really like this, are you?
Please tell me this hard-hearted jerk
isn't you.
Give up on me.
I'm tired of disappointing you!
Then do it out of self-interest.
You want to be a diplomat, right.
Secretary of state.
Even Pitkannan would offer a hostile power
a few blankets to establish good will.
Don't cut yourself.
I never wanted to be a razor so bad
in my life!
Here!
It's your namesake's work.
Somebody spotted you in the library.
Thought you were Walt Whitman's ghost.
Van's actually mine, you know.
I loaned my ex-roommate a fortune
And he fled to Bali.
And I got the van.
Why don't you sell it?
- The engine doesn't run.
- So fix it.
- Want me to do it?
- Oh, sure.
- You a mechanic?
- No.
I'm a Zen Buddhist,
but that's close enough.
How many bottles of that wine
will you give me if I fix it?
To get this thing running.
Six!
Eight!
Seven!
Eight!
Nine, but that's my final offer.
Didn't you used to run a savings and loan?
No, you're thinking of my father.
Look, you want a little something
in advance?
Boy, oh, boy. You must be one
of the great minds of your generation.
You got a corky screw?
Hey, boy, here we go.
For lodgings and meals
and two extra for the blanket.
Thanks. Thanks a lot...
...but the blanket was just...
...good will.
I'll carry your books.
What'll that cost me?
- It's for the blanket.
- You didn't ask for it...
...so the blanket doesn't count.
I appreciated it, okay?
Would you appreciate it
if I carry your books?
Boy, oh, boy, we're in business.
Come on, boy.
Keep it up, Hoppy. Let's go.
- Here we are, back where you found me.
- Don't remind me.
I wonder what it's like to read upstairs.
Bet the light is better.
Germinal, right?
This library is like a church, isn't it?
When you were in church, did you wonder
what other people are praying for?
Did someone die? Was someone just born?
Library's like that for me.
Sir, you can't stay in here.
It's okay. He's with me.
He's part of my research project.
I beg your pardon.
Women, ain't they perfect?
Not always.
Yes, they are. They're perfect.
Don't matter if they're skinny, fat,
blonde or blue.
If a woman is willing to give you her love...
...it's the greatest gift in the world.
Makes you taller, smarter.
Makes your teeth shine.
Boy, oh, boy. Women are perfect.
- Keep your voice low.
- Perfect joy and perfect ache.
Joy when you first see
and get to know them...
...ache when you leave them.
Joy, ache. Joy-ache.
Joy-ache. Joy-ache....
If you keep your voice low,
then you wouldn't attract attention.
I'll give you two pages for a bath.
Okay. Let me get some work done.
Why'd you say I was a loser?
Sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pot calling the kettle black.
I'm not a loser, Harvard.
I'm a quitter.
You try too hard.
Winners forget they're in a race.
They just love to run.
''Mine eyes have seen the glory
''Of the coming of the Lord
''He has loosened up the panties
''Of the little whore next door
''His truth is marching on''
Okay. He cannot stay, so get him out.
Water doesn't cost anything.
I'll buy you more bubble bath.
I am not taking a bath in there.
Did you give him a key?
I spent the day with him. He's harmless.
He likes to read. He likes to talk,
once you get him going.
I cannot take this right now.
I can't. I just can't.
I'm not going to make Med School.
I'm at Harvard, I'm not going to make
Med School. Can you believe that?
I've got one page of my thesis.
What. I heard you printing last week.
It sounded like you had 50 or 60 pages.
Blanks.
I printed out blanks.
I didn't want you guys to know.
And I thought I was wound tight.
Just get him out.
I cannot work with him around.
What if my mom comes? She will.
She'll check on me.
Calm down. This is scary.
You're sounding like Boz.
- I'm nothing like Boz.
- Who's like Boz?
Boz. I thought Boz was in Bali, by golly.
He's wearing my robe!
And it smells terrific.
I left clothes out for you.
I only came down for a beer.
I can't get dressed without one.
Little quirk I got.
This is totally out of control.
What's wrong. Did you wake up
on the wrong side of the bed?
Is this a lover's quarrel?
Maybe I should leave.
We're not lovers, we're roommates
and we respect each other's space.
You respect each other's empty air?
That's very profound for Harvard students.
Let's go.
My robe!
If that's how you feel about it,
don't you wear any of my things!
Just keep it.
I think there's entirely too much bickering
in this house.
I don't know if I can live here!
I hope my summer place is ready soon.
Then you'll probably miss me
and don't come begging.
I know. I have a plan.
I'm taking him to Social Security.
I'll get him disability benefits, all right?
I expect you to clean the bathtub.
Name.
Simon Wilder!
Who is Simon Wilder?
He is!
He is!
Cut it out! He is!
- Are you Simon Wilder?
- I used to be.
DOB.
E-F-G-H-I-J!
Date of birth. When were you born?
When the moon was full,
I was abandoned by my mommy.
I was raised by a she-wolf
in a Wyoming cave.
Come on. This'll get you money.
You need money.
I don't. You do.
I'll ask again.
Do you have evidence of birth?
I'm sitting here, ain't I?
What do you think I happened by,
spontaneous combustion?
He's not cooperating.
- What state were you born in?
- Infancy.
I'm trying to help.
You see this face, lady.
Memorize it. Some day
this boy's going to save the world.
I'm sorry. If he's uncooperative,
there's nothing I can do.
I guess that's why you work here.
Can I have one of these muffins?
No!
I'm sorry. No.
Can't even get a muffin.
How're you going to get cash?
What're you doing.
If you're in line for muffins,
you're wasting your time.
They're not giving any out.
What are you doing? We made a deal!
I kept my part of it. I went in, didn't I?
What difference does it make if the money
comes from me or the government?
The difference is I got a grievance
against the government.
It's your money. You paid into the system.
You said you worked. Sailor, lumberjack,
short-order cook. Or was that bullshit.
There you go. Excuse me.
Well, are we going to the movie, or what?
A deal is a deal, Harvard.
Can I borrow some condoms?
No, but you can have some.
An endurance test.
More like a pop quiz.
Oh, Courtney! Have a good night.
Good night, Monty.
Are you expecting an invasion?
I don't want to be murdered in my bed.
Your bed is the one place
you're totally safe.
Are you going to watch him all night?
Locking your girlfriend in.
Good night, little ones.
Give me some books.
I'm perfectly capable
of carrying my own books, thank you.
Here!
Chapter 2.
I read it.
That stuff is coming out the wrong end.
I'm sorry you didn't like it.
This isn't just some term paper,
this is my life!
- Your life is a bunch of papers?
- I know it sounds pathetic...
...but my dream is to get into government
and help people.
You think those ideas will help people?
It's a bunch of pessimistic junk!
That's not going to help.
That's giving up!
The best professor here happens to think
that this has promise.
His opinion, not yours!
That's my life!
Wait a minute, Harvard.
Let me show you my life.
There it is. That's my life.
I got this one on a beach in Bali.
Best night's sleep I ever had.
You remember one night of sleep?
The last good one I had.
What's this shiny white one?
Yeah, that one.
A woman.
Who was she?
The one.
The one true love.
How about that. You're a romantic.
All quitters are romantic, Harvard.
Each stone tells a story
that I want to remember.
All I do is hold them in my hands
and rub them.
And, abracadabra, I'm back there.
Give me your books.
Tell me about the woman.
- I can't.
- Why not?
I'm not holding the stone.
Let's sit down. There's a bench.
I actually come here sometimes
when the weather's warm.
Beautiful, ain't it?
I got a friend sleeps on that bench
over there.
I like to study outside.
Study?
What happened to you?
Didn't your father ever play ball with you?
Let's go, if we want to eat.
Relax, take a breather.
You didn't answer my question.
Didn't he ever play with you?
My past isn't part of our deal.
Excuse me.
You still don't think I'm human, do you?
There's nothing to tell.
My father left when I was 5.
He left my mother to live with
another woman and he had kids with her.
When I got into Harvard he wrote
and told me how proud he was of me...
...and he was sorry
he couldn't help with tuition.
That was the last time I heard from him,
'cause he died.
My mom's terrific!
Uncle Bill took me to Little League.
Piece of cake.
Doesn't sound too tough. Was it?
No.
What about you?
How long were you
in the Merchant Marine?
None of your goddamn business.
- Where were you before Harvard?
- Princeton.
I was hanging out with Al Einstein!
I kind of inspired him!
He got stuck on some formula
so I told him!
''You got a steady job, your wife loves you,
don't make yourself crazy.
''Everything's relative.''
There you are, Mr. Fuel Pump,
good as new.
Just in time. Breakfast.
There you go, boy. One page.
What is this?
Oatmeal.
Roughage. It's good for you.
It's good for a horse.
Give me that page back. Here!
Eat up, Simon. Got a big surprise for you.
Our founding fathers...
...or to be politically correct...
...our founding parents...
...designed the Constitution
to prevent the presidency...
...from becoming another form of tyranny...
...an elected king.
Well?
Did they succeed?
I smell an ambush.
Miss Moore...
...do you have an answer?
The president is not an elected king.
Indeed.
Could the president of the United States...
...without consulting those he governs...
...more or less destroy the entire world?
I guess he could.
You guess he could.
Could Julius Caesar have done that?
Could Napoleon?
Could Adolf Hitler?
But they tried to.
Aren't you making a false analogy?
Oh, this is my lucky day.
I ask a question
and I get a question in response.
You do belong in government, my dear.
Sit down, please.
Does anyone have an answer for me,
instead of a quiz?
Don't be a hero, boy.
Mr. Kessler, your thoughts.
The president can't bomb without reason.
He has a reason. He thinks we need
more parking spaces.
The point is, can he destroy the world?
Not without Congress.
Mr. Kessler, after four years of Harvard...
...has it escaped your attention...
...that the president can make war
for 90 days without consulting Congress.
That's right.
Thank you very much.
At least I'm going to pass this course.
Sit down, please.
My question still stands.
What is the particular genius
of the Constitution?
- Nice try, General Custer.
- Shut up!
I told you not to get up there.
- I told you not to be a hero.
- You promised to be quiet.
- I told you not to stand up.
- You can't talk. This is a lecture.
You, sir!!
Who, me?
Yes, do you have an opinion on this.
No.
Are you a student in this class?
No.
Are you a guest?
No, I'm a bum.
There are no bums.
There are only the ''financially challenged.''
No, I'm a bum.
But bear in mind, I'm a Harvard bum.
You must be the logical result
of an open admissions policy.
No, sir, my presence here...
...is a logical result of the search
for edible garbage.
You're here for the garbage?
That's right.
Colleges produce a lot of garbage.
And Harvard produces more than most.
What wit.
Inspired, no doubt, by...
...Wild Turkey.
You ask for charity...
...pleading that society has failed you
and you need help.
But, actually, you're quite capable
and what you really want is...
...alcoholic bliss.
I'd rather drink rubbing alcohol
than listen to you, if that's what you mean.
And according to the 21st Amendment,
you can drink anything you want.
Which door do I leave from.
At Harvard, we don't end our sentences
with prepositions.
Well, in that case,
which door do I leave from, asshole?
What democratic eloquence!
You asked the question, sir.
Let me answer it.
The genius of the Constitution is
that it can always be changed.
The genius of the Constitution...
...is that it makes no permanent rule
other than its faith...
...in the wisdom of ordinary people
to govern themselves.
Faith in the wisdom of the people...
...is exactly what makes the Constitution
incomplete and crude.
Crude.
No, sir. Our founding parents were
pompous, middle-aged white farmers...
...but they were also great men...
...because they knew one thing
that all great men should know!
That they didn't know everything.
They knew they'd make mistakes,
but they left a way to correct them.
They didn't think of themselves as leaders.
They wanted a government
of citizens, not royalty.
A government of listeners, not lecturers.
A government that could change,
not stand still.
The president isn't an "elected king",
no matter how many bombs he can drop...
...because the crude Constitution
doesn't trust him.
He's a servant of the people.
He's a bum, okay, Mr. Pitkannan.
He's just a bum.
The only bliss he's searching for is...
...freedom...
and justice!
I'm sorry, sir.
Hey, Simon, are you okay? What can I do?
I'm fine.
Now that I've taught at Harvard, boy...
...it's all downhill from here.
Court.
Do you think Debby is a seductive
Pinot Noir, or a nutty Cabernet?
Debby. What happened to Helga?
I love them both.
When'll you realize women are more
than just fermented grape juice?
When'll you realize men are more
than just pieces of meat?
The day I become a vegetarian.
Listen, it's supposed to go
below zero tonight.
Is it okay if he sleeps in the cellar tonight?
- Sure.
- No problem.
No problem.
There's a big problem.
I am sick of paying my share of....
Paying extra to live with a rooster
and a bum, while I want to study.
Bring him inside the house and I leave.
Me and my share of the rent.
Then leave.
I'm serious.
Are you going to cover my rent?
I'd love to help you out, but I'm broke.
My old man cut me off.
Not that I ever want to see Jeff leave.
Ever!
- No problem.
- Just take one portion, okay? Just one.
You sh*t!
- He's a human being.
- Don't give me that!
You just want your thesis.
You care about him.
Take him to a shelter!
Jesus Christ!
Here!
- I'm just practicing.
- It's not a funny joke.
Who said it was a joke?
Where's the blanket I gave you?
I loaned it to a friend.
In this cold?
What are friends for?
I'll get you another one.
I wish this thing's heater worked.
Me too. Then my life would be perfect.
Well...
...I'll double my normal payment...
...for a little spot in the cellar.
The cellar's flooded and....
I'd put you in the living room
but Jeff's parents might come over tonight.
Sure, I know.
I know.
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking, ''Why am n here
and he's out there. ''
I've never seen you like this.
You look like you're
about to burst into tears.
Don't hold your breath.
''You lied again, Harvard. Deal's off.''
Stop!
Sh*t!!
Separation anxiety from your cast.
I thought it'd go a lot quicker with it off,
but I can't concentrate!
I can't print out. I can't even read!
I'll never get this done.
It's not your problem.
Really. What is my problem.
You miss him!
Don't be ridiculous.
Gorky.
Stupid bird!!
Good morning. Are you awake?
Everett, come and get your rooster!
Close your eyes.
All right, no peeking.
Nope. No peeking.
Open your eyes.
Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Merry Christmas.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Gorky, I want you to take good care
of Lord Montague...
...while we're away on Christmas break.
Are you sleepy?
Let's just tuck you in there.
Now, give me a kiss. Come on.
Give me a kiss goodbye. Sh*t!
Oh, my God.
I really hate this rooster.
Merry Christmas.
How's the ankle?
Good.
So, I guess you'll be racing me soon.
I don't think I'll ever really catch up to you.
Court, come on, let's go.
Bye, Monty.
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
I'll be right there.
Why don't you come home with me?
See the Big Apple.
Let my four brothers beat you up.
I don't think I'd be good company.
I know that.
It's just that the maid has off
for the holidays and...
...we could use someone to do
a little light cleaning.
Nothing big!
Some floor-to-ceiling windows
that should sparkle for the holidays.
What about your boyfriend?
Isn't three a crowd?
The Face?
He won't be there. I don't bring sex home.
Right, I forgot.
Listen, I'd love to make
your windows sparkle, but...
...I gotta work.
Courtney, come on!
If anything changes,
just give me a call, okay?
Merry Christmas!
Hi, Mom. It's me. I'm fine.
I'm really disappointed too.
I've just got too much work to do.
It's too expensive.
No, Mom.
I'll call you on Christmas morning, okay?
I love you.
Do you love me, Gorky?
Gorky.
Are you and Everett sleeping together?
I thought so.
I'm talking to a chicken.
Are you Harvard?
- That's my blanket.
- It's Simon's.
He gave it to me for keeping this safe.
I'm to give this to you and a message.
But first he said you'd give me
something to eat.
Said it shouldn't be roughage.
Come on in.
Have a seat.
I was having a sandwich.
Ham and cheese, okay?
With mustard.
So, what's the message?
Don't you want this?
Simon said you think Christ died for this!
Just leave it on the table.
So, what's his message?
Here!
I gotta get this right.
Now this is Simon Wilder's message here.
''You shall no longer take things
at second or third hand.
''Nor look through the eyes of the dead.
''Nor feed on the specters in books.
''You shall not look through my eyes either,
or take things from me.
''You shall listen to all sides...
''...and filter them from yourself.''
That's it.
I did it perfect.
Why didn't he come himself? Is he okay?
He's fine.
Where is he?
He doesn't want to see you.
I don't want to bother him but...
...I want to make sure
that he has some place to stay.
As long as you understand,
he doesn't want to see you.
I'm supposed to say
he's at St. Peter's church shelter.
Is that a good shelter?
Yeah. It's just great.
Well, good.
Good.
Hello. Where's the men's shelter?
Shelter? Here?
There's no shelter here.
- You sure?
- I've worked here 32 years. I should know.
Closest thing to a shelter around here
is over there in the alley.
Thank you.
Leave that alone!
- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm taking you to the hospital.
- No, no hospital. No hospitals!
- You're sick.
Listen, you've got to promise me.
No matter what happens...
...no hospitals.
Simon, you're sick!
No lies!
Just promise.
Promise, damn it!!
Okay, I promise.
All right!
You're awake.
Breakfast.
Eat up!
You are seeing a doctor this afternoon.
Is this your room?
No, this is Boz's room. But...
...it's your room now.
Here!
What's this for?
The door.
You can come and go as you please.
No wild parties. I got work to do.
My lungs, Harvard.
But I'll be okay in a couple of days.
Was it smoking. Is that what happened.
Smoking? No.
Asbestos.
It was in the shipyards in Baltimore,
and it was on the merchant ship too.
We breathed it when we were
building them and when sailed in them.
And they knew it.
They also knew that it would take
20 years to kill you.
That's why you quit.
My lungs quit.
I didn't quit!
I couldn't work.
They fired me.
Try and get some rest.
Wait a second.
You got your thesis back now,
so what's our deal.
We don't need a deal.
We have to have a deal, Harvard.
I gotta pay my own way.
How'll you manage that?
Don't you know anything
about government at all, boy.
I'm entitled to disability benefits!
I think it's about time I kissed and made up
with my good old Uncle Sammy.
Thanks, Harvard.
I assume your father told you
about his condition.
He's not my father. He's a friend.
He said asbestos did it to him!
Asbestosis.
That's right.
Mr. Wilder was exposed many years ago.
The lungs can't expel the fibers and...
...he's in the final stages.
You mean, it isn't treatable at all.
There's no treatment at any stage.
Basically, the lungs can't take in air.
我该从哪扇门出去？
在哈佛，我们不以介词结尾。
好吧，既然如此，那我该从哪扇门出去，混蛋？
多么民主的雄辩啊！
先生，是您问的。
让我来回答。宪法的精妙之处在于它总是可以修改的。
宪法的精妙之处在于，除了相信普通民众拥有自我治理的智慧之外，它没有制定任何永久性的规则。
正是对人民智慧的信任，使得宪法显得不完善且粗糙。
粗糙。
不，先生。我们的开国先贤是傲慢的中年白人农场主，但他们也是伟人，因为他们明白所有伟人都应该明白的一件事：
他们并非无所不知。
他们知道自己会犯错，但他们留下了改正错误的方法。
他们并不认为自己是领导者。
他们想要的是一个公民政府，而不是一个君主制政府。 一个倾听民意的政府，而非只会说教的政府。一个能够变革而非停滞不前的政府。总统并非“民选君主”，无论他能投下多少炸弹，因为那部粗糙的宪法并不信任他。
他是人民的公仆。
好吧，皮特卡南先生，他是个无赖。
他就是个无赖。
他唯一追求的幸福是自由和正义！
Par quelle porte dois-je sortir ?
À Harvard, on ne termine pas nos phrases par des prépositions.
Eh bien, dans ce cas, par quelle porte dois-je sortir, abruti ?
Quelle éloquence démocratique !
Vous avez posé la question, monsieur.
Permettez-moi d'y répondre. Le génie de la Constitution réside dans le fait qu'elle peut toujours être modifiée.
Le génie de la Constitution réside dans le fait qu'elle n'établit aucune règle permanente, si ce n'est sa confiance dans la sagesse du peuple pour se gouverner lui-même.
La confiance dans la sagesse du peuple est précisément ce qui rend la Constitution incomplète et rudimentaire.
Rudimentaire.
Non, monsieur. Nos pères fondateurs étaient des fermiers blancs d'âge mûr, un peu pompeux. Mais c'étaient aussi de grands hommes, car ils savaient une chose que tous les grands hommes devraient savoir :
Qu'ils ne savaient pas tout.
Ils savaient qu'ils feraient des erreurs, mais ils ont prévu un moyen de les corriger.
Ils ne se considéraient pas comme des chefs.
Ils voulaient un gouvernement de citoyens, pas une monarchie. Un gouvernement d'écoute, pas de donneurs de leçons. Un gouvernement capable de changer, pas de stagner. Le président n'est pas un « roi élu », même s'il peut faire des ravages, car la Constitution, simpliste, ne lui fait pas confiance.
Il est au service du peuple.
C'est un bon à rien, d'accord, Monsieur Pitkannan ?
Un bon à rien, tout simplement.
Le seul bonheur qu'il recherche, c'est la liberté et la justice !
Dari pintu mana aku harus keluar?
Di Harvard, kami tidak mengakhiri kalimat dengan preposisi.
Nah, kalau begitu, dari pintu mana aku harus keluar, brengsek?
Kefasihan demokratis yang luar biasa!
Anda yang bertanya, Pak.
Biar saya jawab. Kejeniusan Konstitusi adalah bahwa ia selalu dapat diubah.
Kejeniusan Konstitusi adalah bahwa ia tidak membuat aturan permanen selain keyakinannya pada kebijaksanaan rakyat biasa untuk memerintah diri mereka sendiri.
Keyakinan pada kebijaksanaan rakyatlah yang membuat Konstitusi tidak lengkap dan kasar.
Kasar.
Tidak, Pak. Para pendiri negara kita adalah petani kulit putih paruh baya yang sombong. Tetapi mereka juga orang-orang hebat karena mereka tahu satu hal yang harus diketahui semua orang hebat:
Bahwa mereka tidak tahu segalanya.
Mereka tahu mereka akan membuat kesalahan, tetapi mereka meninggalkan cara untuk memperbaikinya.
Mereka tidak menganggap diri mereka sebagai pemimpin.
Mereka menginginkan pemerintahan warga negara, bukan kerajaan. Pemerintahan yang mendengarkan, bukan penceramah. Pemerintahan yang bisa berubah, bukan diam saja. Presiden bukanlah "raja terpilih", berapa pun bom yang bisa dijatuhkannya karena Konstitusi yang kasar tidak mempercayainya.
Dia pelayan rakyat.
Dia gelandangan, oke, Tuan Pitkannan.
Dia hanya gelandangan.
Satu-satunya kebahagiaan yang dia cari adalah kebebasan dan keadilan!
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