Yesterday

 After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. 

There's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own.

But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us.

And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all become an adult ...

your mother says something like that. 

Mom.

 I tell ya that man makes me purr like a kitten. 

 Mom! 

 When he isn't making me growl like a tiger.

 Stop! 

And my husband wonders why I'm not interested in him anymore. 

Or worse. Something like that. 

If he had any balls at all he would leave on his own.  No. He plays stupid. He's waiting for me to kick him out. I come home with a hickey on my shoulder. A hickey! For god's sake like I'm a sex-crazed teenager.  Which let's face it these days I am. And what does he do? Pretends he doesn't see it. 

  We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids.

Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in.

I've heard it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

Without parents to defy we break the rules we make for ourselves. 

We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. 

We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. 

We look for comfort where we can find it.

And we hope. Against all logic. Against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.